As you know…

Benny watched the twin moons hanging in the sky as he waited at the terminal.  He had been off-planet for over a year now, and he was ready to get back to his old job and working with his crew.  He wasn’t kept waiting for too long, as he was soon approached by one of his old co-workers.

“Benny!  It’s great to see you!”  the man said.

“Same to you Tom!  How are the wife and kids?”  Benny asked.

“Oh, they’re fine.  How was your trip?”  Tom asked.

“Not bad, but a little dull.  I’m just glad to be back so that I can get back to work.”  Benny said.

“I don’t blame you.  Come on, I’ll drive you to the factory.”  Tom said.

They drove from the spaceport to the factory, the largest building on the planet, while chatting about Benny’s trip.  When they arrived at the factory, they got out of the car and walked through the facility.

“As you know, this factory is where we manufacture the mining robots that are used all throughout the asteroid belt and even some of the non-inhabitable planets.”  Tom said.

Benny gave his old friend a confused look.  “Uh, yeah.  I know that.  I have been working here for a few years, you know.”

They walked through the production plant and into the testing facility.

“Here we have our main testing facility.  As you know, we’ve had to start performing rigorous tests on each and every robot we make, after an unfortunate incident in the ice mines on Neptune caused over half of the equipment to be destroyed.”  Tom said.

“Of course I know that!  The testing facility was the first place I worked at before I was transferred to R&D!”  Benny said.

They made their way through the testing area, over to where the technicians were hard at work sorting through millions of lines of code.

“Here is where our programmers are hard at working testing and debugging the new software that is going to be pushed out to our robots.  As you know, we have recently written a new software package, Canary, that should allow our robots to be able to mine in any environment, as opposed to our old system where we had to ship out separate programs for ice-mining, gas-collecting, and so on.”  Tom said.

“Why are you telling me this?  I’m the one that told you about Canary, remember?  I even showed you the developer interface.”  Benny said.

They continued walking through the facility until they got to the main storage bay.

“Here is where we keep the completed robots until we’re ready to ship them out.  As you know, we have to spray a special chemical compound through the storage bay to keep the local wildlife from coming in and chewing through our products.  It’s hard to believe that the company managed to put their factory on the one planet where the critters eat metal and plastic.”  Tom said.

Benny glared at Tom.  “I know this.  You know that I know this.”

Benny then grabbed Tom by the collar of his shirt and started shaking him violently.  “WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THINGS I ALREADY KNOW?!”

“WAAUUGH!”  Tom replied.

Benny released Tom’s shirt after a few moments.

“Sorry.  I guess I must still be suffering from jetlag or something.”  Benny said.

“Don’t worry about it.  A lot of people have trouble adjusting after a long time in space.”  Tom said.

“That’s true, but I was still way out of line.”  Benny said.

“Well, if you want, we can go down to the medical bay and have you checked out.  As you know, our medical bay has the most advanced…”  Tom started.

Benny let out a scream of frustration and, before Tom could react, drew out a gun.  Benny fired, and Tom was lying dead on the ground within minutes.

The other factory workers came running to the scene, and soon there was a huge crowd surrounding them.

“Oh my god!  You killed Tom!  Why did you kill Tom?”  one of them said.

Benny looked sheepishly at Tom’s body, and then at the people gathering around.   “Well, as you know…”


1 Comment

  1. This is something I understand all too well – having someone tell me what I know over and over and over again. It really does make you want to shoot them, all things considered. Though I do want to point out one thing.
    Benny then grabbed Tom by the collar of his shirt and started shaking him violently. “WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THINGS I ALREADY KNOW?!”

    “WAAUUGH!” Tom replied.
    I don’t know about you, but reading a sentence, or even a word, in capital letters can be rather…jarring. It sort of threw me for a loop. Kind of reminds me of Text-Speech when capitals are used to express someone screaming.

    For the conversation there, I’d recommend using italics (this is a suggestion, but not one you have to listen to or anything). From my end, it would read better. Italics aren’t as “I’m in your face” like capital letters are. Just saying.

    Though I do wonder If Benny died after this, all things considered.

    He did, after all, just kill Tom for doing the same thing he had done.

    Good short story. Very humorous!


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